The Discovery of Self-help books and philosophy

I started reading books and listening to podcasts. After reading around 30 of them, I had narrowed the 3 most impactful books I’ve read this year. The 3 book that had the most impact on me is “Atomic Habits”, by James Clear, “Meditations’, by Marcus Aurelius, and “Heart of Buddha’s Teaching’, by Thich Nhat Hanh. I want to share some of my learnings from these books and practices that shaped who I am today.

Atomic habits

This book taught me the importance of having an identity of the person I want to be. Once I know who I want to be I can start working towards becoming that person. I know I want to be a good father and the traits of a great father to me is resilience, hard working, kind, strong, and empathetic. Some of my favorite lessons I’ve learn from this book are:

  • If you improve by 1% each day for a year, you’ll be 37 times better by the end of the year.
  • You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.
  • Your actions reveal how badly you want something. If you keep saying something is a priority but you never act on it, then you don’t really want it. It’s time to have an honest conversation with yourself. Your actions reveal your true motivations.
  • Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement.
  • In order to improve for good, you need to solve problems at the systems level. Fix the inputs and the outputs will fix themselves.

Meditations and the Discovery of Stoic Philosophy

I remembered my first lesson of Stoic philosophy from my cousin Will. Back when I was 21 and in Vegas. Our hotel room was robbed and we lost thousands of dollars of our possessions. I remember him telling me that we have control on our own feelings and actions and its not what happens to us that matters, its how we react to what happens to us that matters, It has always stuck with me since then. This year I discovered Ryan Holiday’s books on Stoic Philosophy and learned about Marcus Aurelius. I have learned so much about how to become a stronger, calmer, and wiser person from practicing Stoic philosophy. This is wisdom that is thousands of years old that still holds true til this day. These are some of the most important things I’ve learned from practicing Stoic philosophy:

  • It’s not things that upset us, its our opinion about things.
  • It’s not that life is short, its that we waste so much time on the non-essential.
  • Amor fati. Love one’s fate. Embrace the challenges that I get to face, because its only going to make me a stronger person because of it.
  • Focus on what I can control.
  • Don’t just think about what a good man is, be one. Do what is best for the common good.
  • Death is happening to me right now. Do the essential and discard everything else.

Buddhist Philosophy

Reading and practicing Buddhist philosophy helped me not fall into the pitfalls of modern life. To not spend all my time on the internet, to self reflect and meditate on the present. This has helped me be more mindful and present in my everyday life. I’ve been taking daily walks and started to spend more time in nature. Being more present has helped me feel more alive than ever.

  • Do not lose yourself in the past. Do not lose yourself in the future. Do not get caught in your anger, worries, or fears. Come back to the present moment, and touch life deeply. This is mindfulness.
  • Mindfulness puts an end to such a limited perspective. The Buddha faced his own suffering directly and discovered the path of liberation. Don’t run away from things that are unpleasant in order to embrace things that are pleasant. Put your hands in the earth. Face the difficulties and grow new happiness.
  • Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything - anger, anxiety, or possessions - we cannot be free.
  • All beings are interconnected, and our happiness is linked to the well-being of others